Quiet guy dating
Once he takes his mind off it, he might find that he’s able to get it up or control how soon he comes.If you’re not able to home in on what’s causing the PE or ED, and his doctor says it’s not physical, you could consider seeing a sex therapist, says Watson. But ultimately, he’s the only one who can get help.That’s all to say that the number of women who’ve slept with a guy dealing with one of these disorders is also likely very high.(If we’re going just by my group of friends, that’s certainly true.) And no matter how empathetic you are to the problem, how patient, or non shame-y and blame-y, it’s still just that: A problem.Along with avoiding talking about yourself, don’t bring an air of gloom, doom, or super-seriousness to the conversation when you do talk to the guy about it. “Don’t have the conversation in the bedroom,” says Morse. Another tip is to do it when you’re in the car or walking the dog—it’s a sensitive topic, so giving them the option not to make eye contact can be a big relief and make the conversation go smoother.” Your tone and vibe matters more than what you actually say, but your message should be something along the lines of, “What happened last night was no big deal!I’ve heard a lot of guys struggle with this, so maybe it’s worth having a doctor check it out.” In young men, odds are the problem has psychological roots, says sex therapist Laurie Watson, LMFT, host of the podcast FOREPLAY: Radio Sex Therapy.“Men are afraid to see sex therapists because they’re afraid they’ll be told they’re inadequate,” she says.
Almost every woman I know has experienced her share of insecure men.
There are some lifestyle or psychological factors that you can help him address. “Porn keeps raising the bar of stimulation, meaning that men need a higher stimulus to get off because it’s what they’re getting used to,” says Morse.
For instance, is he regularly drinking before you have sex? “Tell him—nicely—that if he backs off or takes a break, it could help your sex life.” Also, if you’re fighting in other areas of life, it could be spilling over into bed, says Watson.
“If he’s angry at you, he can lose the ability to function properly,” she says.
“Some men who cheat have trouble getting hard because they feel guilty and their penises are literally conflicted about sleeping with two women at once.” If it’s nerves, reassure him that you’re having fun no matter what happens with his D—and that he can always pleasure you in other ways.