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People always ask me why I am still single, I get all the popular comments, like “Oh, that’s a shame, still single at your age”. There is nothing wrong with me, I’m athletic, been told I am attractive, outgoing, and I enjoy sports, and all sorts of out door activities, and have a great circle of friends, so why after all this time have I not met anyone? I’ve dated on and off for a few months to a year, only to have things crash and burn for one reason or another. I’ve tried the online dating, only to become seriously jaded by it all. I’m tired of friends telling me that when I least expect it, I will meet someone great, well, I have not been expecting it, and it never came. 🙁 Dear Lauren, I’m reminded of a story that Rich Gosse, the founder of American Singles, once shared with me. I’m 42, and have never been married, and I guess that I have been dating idiots, or men who are not even dating material for the last 10 years.I’ve been that way for 35 years and frankly, I’m a little anxious about getting married.That said, most single people (including myself) DO want to get married.All of this is me saying that there’s nothing wrong with being single.…Despite the title of my second book, , being single is a fine state of affairs.There are a number of people who are somewhat weak and needy.

Personally, I don’t feel the need to subject myself to that kind of rejection any more. By the time he’s in his 40’s, he should have his act together a little. I’m just looking for a guy who’s nice to me, makes me laugh, and uses his brain.I don’t suddenly get smarter if I propose to my girlfriend.And if she dumped me, I wouldn’t suddenly get dumber.You seem to be more self-aware, in that you’re claiming to have an open mind about dating. But I think the greatest thing keeping single people single is that they don’t truly make an effort to change things. Are you telling your friends to set you up with single eligible guys?They say they do, but they don’t really DO anything about pursuing love. This is the core metaphor driving my first book, and a guiding principle of my friend Rachel Greenwald’s book as well. Are you going to singles events – parties, trips, cruises – or at least doing activities that have single men in attendance? Have you signed up for a six-month subscription on a big dating site?

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